Divorce is rarely without conflict, so what exactly constitutes a “high-conflict divorce?” High-conflict divorce is typically defined as intense and ongoing hostility between the parties involved. Communication breaks down, emotions run high, and every decision becomes a battleground.
Common triggers for high-conflict divorces include infidelity, financial issues, and disagreements over child custody. The conflict may be caused by one party or both parties may be equally contributing to a high-conflict environment.
High-conflict divorces are emotionally draining, financially taxing, and can take a toll on mental well-being. However, amidst the turbulence, there are ways to find stability and chart a course toward resolution and healing.
Strategies for Dealing with a High-Conflict Divorce
If you are involved in a high-conflict divorce, there are strategies that you can utilize, including the following:
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your spouse/ex-spouse to prevent further escalation of conflict. This may involve limiting communication to essential matters and avoiding confrontational interactions. Many times the high-conflict party will excessively reach out to communicate even though there is nothing necessary to discuss. To the extent that you can, you should not respond to those communications. If communication is necessary, keep the exchanges brief. Avoid getting into emotional power struggles.
Seek Legal Guidance: Enlist the help of a skilled attorney (like Greenberg & Sinkovits!) who has experience navigating high-conflict divorces. They can provide valuable legal advice, protect your rights, and advocate on your behalf during negotiations and court proceedings.
Keep Children’s Best Interests in Mind: If children are involved, prioritize their well-being above all else. Shield them from adult conflicts, maintain consistency in their routines, and reassure them of your love and support.
Document Everything: Keep detailed records of all communication, financial transactions, and custody arrangements. Documentation can serve as evidence in legal proceedings and help protect your interests.
Focus on Self-Care: In the midst of the chaos, prioritize self-care. This means attending to your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice mindfulness or meditation, and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. There is nothing shameful about therapy and anyone going through divorce can greatly benefit from having a third-party to lean on.
Dealing with a high-conflict divorce is undeniably difficult, but it is possible to navigate and emerge stronger on the other side, particularly if you have a skilled divorce attorney on your side.
